Caught 🫣 Red-Handed: Before Our First Date

And his mom's obituary? In plain view 😬...

He saw my search history 😳… and then: “Why are you googling my mom?”

His reaction made it crystal clear — I’d uncovered an emotional bomb 💣.

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Accidentally sent him a screenshot
with my open search tabs visible!

One of them was his mother’s obituary.

We hadn’t even had our first date 😳.

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But First … A Quick Cyber Stalking Session

Met Jason online. Started dating casually.

I make it a rule to look up background information
before meeting with all of my dates in person.

Safety ✅ is super important when it comes to online dating.
You can never be too careful!

So when Jason asked me to text him
to firm up the details for our first date,

I took his number and searched Google with it.

Sure enough, the usual stuff popped up:
address, names and ages of relatives, etc.

I searched for arrest records, too. Nothing.

In fact, I found very little on him — aside from basic personal data.

But I was really into this guy; and, honestly?

That excitement only fueled my curiosity.

So I kept digging🕵️.

And I found…the obituary for his mom!

Oh, sh*t!

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Curious? Or Just Plain Nosy?

Apparently Jason’s mom had passed more than fifteen years ago.

After skimming through the article and learning the basics —

died at age 50.
Cherished daughter, sister, mother…
Survived by her children, Jason and Timothy (names changed).

I decided to just leave it alone.
He’d tell me about his family when he was ready.
Right?

But… 👀

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You Know What They Say About Curiosity and The Cat…

I’d heard a lot about his ex
with whom he shares two children.

Much of that was … negative.
Just really did not portray her in the best light.

Yes, I know — always take what they say about the ex
with a grain of salt. Two sides to every story, etc.

What can I say? Curiosity got the best of me…
and I went ahead and googled her, too.

Such a nosy little thing I am, eh? 😅

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Caught Red Handed 👀

Anyway, I finally gave up
when I didn’t find much about him or his ex.
I walked away from the computer,
leaving the tabs open.

Several hours later,
I took a screenshot of something I wanted to show Jason.

Sent it to him without looking at it carefully,

and … uhhhh… 🫣

I didn’t realize the open tabs
were included in the screenshot!

Fuckkkkk 😳🫣

Sooo awkward and embarrassing!

He was not an iPhone user, so I couldn’t click “unsend” on the text.

I was internally freaking out. What had I done?!

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Excuse Me, M’am. Can I help you with something?

He didn’t get mad,
but he did seem to be caught off guard.

“Why are you googling my mom?” he asked.

And I stammered,
“I swear I didn’t! But her obituary popped up when I googled YOU.”

(Truth!)

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The Bomb 💣

He made a comment that implied
there was some trauma there from his past;

a heartbreaking and terrible event related to his mom.

I got the feeling that his pain was still fresh —
lingering just under the surface.

Guilt crashed over me as I realized how shocking it must have been
for Jason to see that obituary up on my screen.

Like a bucket of ice water poured over him — sudden and unpleasant.

I assured him that I didn’t learn anything remarkable about her.

But, y’all, I felt really bad —

I’d accidentally unearthed an emotional bomb 💣.

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If you like messy dating stories… you’ll probably enjoy this one too 👇

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The Loss of a Parent

The death of Jason’s mom hit a soft spot within me.
I really felt for him as I was reading her life story.

He was just 20 when his mom died.

She had left Jason and his younger brother
in the care of their grandparents.

That was hard enough for me to learn.

But then came another sharp pang
— a mix of regret, pain, and sadness —
stemming from my own past.

I’ve mentioned before that I lost my dad, too.

He was 56 and I was in my early twenties.

And just like their story, he and I were very close.
And a lot was left unresolved between us.

Not only was I robbed of a significant amount of time,
happy moments and milestones —

but something else has been eating away at me.

I didn’t have the opportunity before he died,
to make the repairs to our relationship
that were so very needed.

I’ve gone into more detail about that here.

And, given my recent separation from my husband,

I would have loved to have my dad here with me.

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When All You Really Want…Is What You Can’t Have

This year has been hell for me.

My dad was such a family first kind of man.

He would have dropped everything in a heartbeat
in order to be here.
I just know it.

To have him still around
would be such a gift.

To lean on, ask advice.

To receive encouragement.

Or maybe a shoulder to cry on.

And so, yes;

just like Jason,

I still feel that ache today — almost 13 years later.

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Playful Teasing

We moved past the topic of his mom,
and he said
“Saw you were snooping on Tracy (name changed), too.”

He laughed pretty hard about me googling the ex 🙈.

Listen, I think most people do get curious
about ex partners
and look them up on social media or whatever.

Particularly the serious ones.

It’s normal to want to learn about their past
when you’re dating someone new 🤷🏻‍♀️.

Jason said “you’re never going to live this down!”
in a joking way.

We hadn’t even been on a single date!

I think that only added to my embarrassment when I was caught googling him.

I’ve really got to be more careful with this stuff;
I think I’m pretty slick but I’m obviously not 🤦🏻‍♀️🤣.

✨

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Ever have something like that happen to you —
where you weren’t as stealthy as you’d hoped? 🤪

Or have you ever caught someone
cyber stalking YOU?

Haha kidding.
It was more like cyber sleuthing 🔍 … Right?

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